Now, on to the show.
I have gathered together some of my favourite lines from The Children. As you can see, I have tidied them up into proper English; if you want the original Children-ese, just remove the capitals and punctuation, plus throw in lots of "stupid yankee". Also, I have recorded the general context of these remarks.
The Children on space exploration:-
"The Soviet Union was the second country to land a man on the Moon"
*In the process of explaining why U.S.A. space dominance is no big deal*
The Children on bad language:-
"Only little b1tches like you use profane language"
*During a flame thread he started*
The Children on pre-marital sex:-
"Only weak willed degenerates have sex before marriage. No, I don't have to have pre-marital sex to know I wouldn't enjoy it - I don't have to smoke crack or murder someone to know I wouldn't like that either."
*Critising general lack of moral fibre in Western countries*
The Children on the unlimited powers of the Internet:-
"Get out of my thread or I will beat you up"
*Addressed to Mr Beer in response to a particularly cutting remark*
The Children on river-aeration technology:-
"They polluted the Thames and now they're fixing it. Sheer hypocrisy. Right now, Mother Nature doesn't want the Thames. And you can't argue with Mother Nature."
*Complaining about pointless waste of UK tax-payer's money*
The Children on probability math:-
"Chances of 1 in 10 to the power 100 occur every day. People win the lottery every day."
*Arguing that a theoretical process which has a chance of 1 in 10 to the power 100 of failing would be pointless, as it would inevitably fail*
The Children on the Yugoslavian conflict:-
"Slobodan was the only war criminal there. If there were other war criminals, then why aren't they on trial?"
*Arguing with Del Gato Diablo about the Balkans conflict*
The Children on Tibet:-
"Thibet has always been Chinese territory. Besides, the Tibetans want us there, to maintain order."
*Defending Chinese foreign policy*
The Children on weight lifting:-
"No normal sized man can possibly bench press 300lbs without the use of drugs. It can't be done."
*Someone posted an article about a fisherman who killed a 600lbs shark with a knife and dragged it ashore - The Children explains why this is not physically possible*
The Children on the endless aggression of the US:-
"The US invaded america"
*Within a rant about U.S. interventionism*
The Children on zoology.
"Anything bigger than average of their species is non venomous...learn some evolution."
*Some retarded lecture on snakes*
The Children on the niceties of local justice systems:-
"Unfair trials in the West are a sign of the West being a cesspool. But China is not supposed to have fair trials, so it's OK that the trials are not fair."
*Again, defending Chinese oppression*
The Children on comparative economics and the wealth of citizens.
"Per capita salary? Europe can't compare with Asia, actually."
*In response to the comment that the West is a more comfortable place to live than China*
The Children on what makes a world power:
"China has always been a world power. The amount of their world influence is utterly irrelevant to this title."
*A Chinese dominance lecture, in response to someone pointing out that during 5,000-odd years of Chinese history, very little time or no time has been spent as the world's pre-eminent power*
The Children on astronomy:
"The galaxy revolves around the Sun. What, you don't know that the Sun is the centre of the Milky Way?"
*I can't remember how this came up, but he was most insistent on this point, at least for several posts*
The Children on homosexuality:
"The gay thing started in the West."
*Again, Western morals*
The Children on the universal domination of China in strength athleticism:
"Chinese weightlifters broke *all* records in Sydney just a few years ago."
*Banging on about Chinese weightlifters, wisely ignoring the existence of the heavy weight classes*
"Of course, the McCarthy trials were much worse than the Tianaman Square Massacre. They were the most barbaric violation of human rights ever"
*Someone posted a Tianaman Square memorial thread*
The Children Molester on biology:-
"Now, in nature no rape occurs. Animals do not rape each other."
The Children Molester on legal education:-
"I would be excepted by any law school in the US."
*This one is actually true, but only if you read it carefully*
The Children Molester on UP posters:-
"I am the smartest poster here, yes, but more importantly I am enlightened."
The Children Molester on historical empires:-
"We are discussing the Ottomans, not the Osmans. What are the Osmans anyway, a Mongol tribe?"
The Children Molester on dictators:-
"Stalin was not crappy. He was a great leader, there was nothing crappy about Stalin."
The Children Molester on forms of government:-
"Capitalism is clearly as much of a failure as Communism."
The Children Molester on his preferred cuisine:-
"Mister, you have been owned like the streetdog I'm about to cook tonight."
*During an argument with Nimatzo*
The Children on the size of the US national debt:-
"the fact of the matter is, China is not in debt by 8000 trillion."
*Explaining how the US is 'OWNED'*
The Children on his l33t Doctor Doolittle skillz:-
"Talking to you is like to talking to a pig. 'Cept that the pig actually understands you."
*Getting heated after lazarus proved he doesn't understand currency in any way*
The Children on metallurgy
"Heat doesn't weaken steel."
*I don't know the hell he was thinking about this one... talking about a bridge destruction and the WTC I guess.*
The Children on Species Conservation:
" We drive dolphins out of extinction. You drive rednecks out of extinction."
*Commenting on the news that the Yangtze Dolphin has become extinct due to excessive pollution in the River.*
"They invented slavery and still enjoy it."
*Implying that the USA 'invented' slavery, when trying to defend China and its practice of dumping crap and dangerous products, and polluting the environment.
"masta wants some entertainment. Little farmboy, you dance and sing for masta. Or face whip again. Little farmboy sing now or masta donate you to men in white cloak with pointy hats. "
*TC on how he isn't racist.
There you have it... The most infamous list on UP. These will be updated as needed, and as authorized by the copyright holder Mr. Beer... I would hate to upset him by adding to his masterpiece without his consent.
